


Hard fall (Sabriel)

by Winchester_kaz2y5



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Eating Disorders, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Sabriel - Freeform, Self-Harm, post-fall of angels, sabriel first kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2019-03-03 03:48:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13332855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winchester_kaz2y5/pseuds/Winchester_kaz2y5
Summary: So I might be editing this a bit because I don't really know if I like the end yet.Gabe's having a lot of trouble getting past the angels falling, he turns down a pretty dark path.I might do a sequel to this with a happy ending if you guys like it but idk yet.





	Hard fall (Sabriel)

Gabe sat up in a cold sweat, breathing harshly, tears burned his eyes. He steadied his breathing eventually, grasping that he had another nightmare. In the warm morning air of the bunker, he sat lost in a memory of that torturous night that haunted him. Eventually, he willed himself to get dressed and find something to eat. 

When Gabe shuffled into the bunker's kitchen he saw Sam scooping another pancake onto a huge stack of already made pancakes and place them on the table. Sam looked up to see Gabe walking to the chair he always sat in at breakfast. 

"Morning sunshine," Sam said happily.

Sam was always happy in the morning, it was his favourite time of day. Gabe noticed this a long time ago. He smiled weakly up at Sam.

"Morning moose," Gabe said quietly.

Gabe looked at the pancakes and decided he would skip breakfast. The last thing he needed on top of all this absolute bull shit was forgetting that he couldn't eat three tons of his favourite food a day. He drank a glass of water quietly with Sam eating hungrily beside him. Gabe excused himself silently when Dean and Cas walked in for breakfast. 

Gabe sat in his room staring at a wall, he wasn't crying this time though, just hurting motionlessly and soundlessly. he walked into his bathroom and took a small metal blade out of a drawer. sitting on the cold tile he added a new line to his wrist, not too deep, just enough to help for a few seconds. 

Sam was still at the kitchen table thinking about Gabe, the sad face that he wore when he thought no one could see. Sam missed the mischevious, cocky grin Gabe used to have. He stood up and went to his room to drown his thoughts in books. 

Sam woke up with his head resting on a book when he checked the time he saw that he had slept all the way to late afternoon. He walked out of his room and into the living room to find Cas and Dean sitting on the couch watching a movie. Dean was rubbing Cas's back where his wings used to be, it helped with the aching. Even after a whole year had passed since the fall of heaven the slender cuts on every angel and archangel's back still hadn't healed. 

"Where's Gabe?" Sam asked a little too eagerly for friendly concern.

"Still in his room, he hasn't come out yet," Dean said sadly.

That meant he had skipped lunch. Again. Sam could feel tears almost instantly, he hated that Gabe was hurting so much. Sam ate a bit and went back to his room to read some more. 

After an hour of trying to read the same page, Sam shut his book, he couldn't get Gabe out of his head. Sam decided to give in and go find him if only to see his face.

Gabe's head was flooded with the screams of every angel who had ever existed. He reached over his shoulder to feel the long rough scars that covered his back. He could still remember the ripping feeling of losing his wings and the terror of the fall. Castiel hadn't been hit with the loss of his wings as hard as his brother, he was fine with being human, he had Dean to hold him up in his darkest moments. Gabe had no one. He walked towards the drawer that held his only answer for the fourth time that day. He slid the silver razor over the smooth, soft skin of his wrist.

Sam knocked on the door of Gabe's room for the seventh time. He gave up and opened the door. Sam looked around the messy room, Gabe wasn't there. A shuddering sob came from the bathroom, surprising him. 

Gabe was sitting on the bathroom floor tears streaming down his cheeks and landing in the little puddles of blood on the floor when he heard a tentative knock on the bathroom door. He was suddenly wrapped in fear, he couldn't let anyone see him like this. but before he could do anything the door opened and Sam looked at Gabe. The worry written all over his face evaporated into full panic. Sam knelt down faster than he thought possible, wrapping his arms around Gabe like he was protecting him. That was all Gabe needed to lose the stiff upper lip he was trying to put on. They both sat on the bathroom floor crying for a long time before Sam finally scooped Gabe up and got him to sit on the counter so he could patch up the slightly dried cuts on Gabe's wrists. Gabe watched as Sam gently cleaned off the cuts and wrapped them in white bandages. 

"Are you gonna tell Cas and Dean?" Gabe asked, his breathing was shaky.

Sam looked up at him, he could see the tears in his beautiful whiskey coloured eyes.

"Not if you don't want me to," he paused "God, Gabe, I wish I could fix everything, you don't deserve this pain."

Gabe looked away. Sam took his face into his warm hands and leaned close enough that he could feel Gabe breathing. Gabe closed the space between them and pressed his lips to Sam's. 

"Can you do one thing for me Gabe?" Sam asked a little breathlessly. "Can you let me help you?"

Gabe was crying again "I don't know if you can," he whispered

"Let me try, please."

"Okay, moose," Gabe smiled a little.


End file.
